Education plan

So i am still in college. Its been almost 4 years since i graduated high school. That statement freaks me out. I don't feel like I'm old enough!! I am wrapping up my education degree and for about a year now have felt like I can do bigger and better things. I have been 200% about my education degree. I talked to God about, and we were cool with that decision. So I pushed the gas, and haven't let up at all until about a year ago, I felt like God was telling me to put on the brakes and all of a sudden thought " RUH ROH, I don't think that I am supposed to be a teacher!"After much thought... much prayer...speech pathology always remained in the back of my mind. I kept coming back to it relentlessly. I would search other fields while trying to stay true to what I felt like my calling was. When I began this journey 4 years ago, I remember absolutely knowing that God gave me a gift to work with kids. So naturally, if i am pursuing further education, what degree do i go for?? Bachelors in Interdisciplinary Studies in Early Childhood Education. That's a mouthful for the simpler equivalent of a teacher. When i made this decision, I did not take into consideration a time when God told me I would work with special needs or impaired, but specifically deaf children. From the time I was able to read, I would always gravitate to the sections in bookstores about sign language. My mother and father had many many books teaching sign language that i would often take out our home library and read from such an early age. I never knew why I had an interest in it, but I knew I was supposed to. I remember when mark and I started dating, and he asked me what i thought my calling was. I told him, "kids, I'm supposed to be with kids and I have always felt like I was supposed to learn sign language. I don't know if it's because I will have a deaf child someday, or maybe that will be how I work with kids."
I am kind of pissed at myself for not staying true to that calling on my life but felt like I was doing what I was supposed to for the time being. Therefore, last year I made the official decision to get my Master's in Speech Language Pathology through the levelling program at Texas Tech, then Graduate School. So this semester was time for me to apply after much thought and conversations with my parents, my husband, husband's parents, and such. SO I am glad to say that I just submitted my application for the levelling program at Tech and without hesitation I will pursue this new road.
Now, how does working with deaf children tie into all of this? I didn't know at first and was just praying that it would be revealed to me. And this is what i found out. I was looking up PhD degrees with a masters in speech path, and at Texas Tech it is Audiology. WHAT!? How crazy! I have been blindly following the spirits tugs to here and then there and here again and there again. Today, I felt like I had a " clouds open up and the sun shines through with the sound of angels singing" moment. I know that I shouldn't be surprised because it's God, but I'M SURPRISED!!! I feel like I kind of know where I'm going now and it makes me excited even though I will still have many years of school. I know it is going to be H-A-R-D! But It's easy to keep your eyes on the prize when you are doing it for the glory of God.

Church Clothes

So tonight, I was trying to convince Lindsay (my little cousin, 8 years old) to pick out her church clothes by herself. I wanted her to do it alone because I would go in there and "help" her but all of the options I laid out would get vetoed. She would ultimately wear what she wanted. So, I figured...she could pick them out by herself. As I was sitting in the living room, she was in her bedroom staring at her closet. This is how it went:

L-" Should I wear long sleeve or short sleeve?"

M - "Long."

L - "Why?"

M - "Because it's going to be cold."

L - " Why is it going to be cold?"

M - " I dont know...it just is!"

L - " like...how cold?"

M - " I dont know! just...COLD!"

L - "Like freezing?"

M - "no!"

L - " Just a little bit cold or really cold or kind of cold?"

M - " i dont know...probably pretty cold."

L - " is pretty cold the same as really cold?"

My final response, " for the love of God..."

She picked out a dress with white tights and furry boots.

Food, Inc.

So, i have been recently introduced to a movie called Food, Inc. Its about the food industry and the government protection of that industry. It exposes the corruptness and inhumane treatment of the animals that we are to consume. I know what your thinking, " its an animal, they were made for us to eat...get over it", because I always said the same thing. I used to snub people who said things similar to that statement. I probably still would, just being honest. However, I was disgusted and repulsed by the way our meat market is ran. It made me mad more than anything just because I feel so powerless. Aside from the meat market, even the farming market is controlled to the -inth degree.

Anyway, this movie brought on a lot of reflection. I always played with the idea of eating "kosher" or "organic". I tried to be a vegetarian for a week, and about DIED! I lasted 7 days, and on the 8th day...I caved and ate burger. It was so hard!! Back to the kosher/organic thing, I have thought about it, but never really wanted to follow through with it because of the stigmatism attached to the label. I never wanted to be one of those "weird or radical" people that are members of PETA, wear eco-friendly clothes, and smoke organic cigarettes. Especially in texas, the only place it is semi-acceptable to locals is Austin. I am far from Austin and my husbands favorite meal is steak and potatoes. What's a girl to do?!! I also never wanted to be that person that constantly had to explain their eating beliefs at restaurants or group dinners.

Therefore, the only reason I am seriously considering changing my lifestyle is not because I am some PETA extremist, but because I have a growing conviction to continue to eat and support the monopoly that is taking advantage of the ignorance and avoidance of the American population about the food we are really eating. I have problems with exploitation of workers in the industry by these corporations. It just gets my blood pumping!

Im not saying that i'm fully committed. I'm on the fence, because i know it would be hard. I will likely start slow and gradually add a little more over an extended period of time.

This is the link for the trailer of the movie. I highly recommend this to anyone who eats food...so everyone :)

http://www.foodincmovie.com/

Charles Barkley Phobias

Charles Barkley is our dear sweet bulldog that is a year and a half old, and 50 pounds and gaining. He is scared of a lot things. Some things we discovered accidentally, for example; I took a picture off the wall to readjust it and set it down by feet for a second while the bulldog's response was to run. Some things I might have conditioned him to be afraid of. Either way, in addition to his phobia of pictures, mop buckets, lighters, flashlights, cowboy hats, and boxes; we can add masking tape. I was pulling tape from the roll and the sound of it ripping off made him shutter. When I showed him the strip, he ran...and I chased. I thought it was so hysterical that i proceeded to tape his foot, a strip on his head, and a strip on his butt. He was miserable. He was afraid of just the sound at first, and now much, much more. I might have to much time on my hands...

Screamo Therapy

Sometimes, there is nothing more liberating than to just blear the inside of my car with the loudest screamo music, when I've had a rough day/week. Scary? yes. but very very liberating. I'm not a person that screams or shows people that I'm angry. Even given some awesomely awful situations this past week, i didn't lose my cool. Instead, I saved it for a song on repeat while i drove around today. It helped. Just listening to someone else scream made me feel great. I was amazed at how much better I felt!

Love and Some Verses

Are there ever people you feel like are in your life for a definite and specific purpose...even though you haven't really unravelled that purpose you just enjoy the daily pleasures that person has to offer with full appreciation. It can be a second graders squeal of a laugh that frequently makes my heart smile and reminds me of the aching yearn and love for children and even for a child that i relatively know nothing about. Sometimes it can be a simple hello that leaves me to ponder what that person is thinking about and having a sudden nudge to pray for them. Even a husband, kissing them goodbye and looking in their eyes only to see the surface of their purpose in your life and usually only under constraint do we start to see the depths.

I have recently discovered how easy is it to walk through life and be completely unaware of the people around you, sometimes on purpose (not going to lie) but sometimes it feels like second nature to just tune out and go about the routines of life because it's easier. It takes work to be present in every moment!! I want to look at the child like they are the most amazing thing to step foot into the classroom, even the terds. I want to pay closer attention to cues from people to give small glimpses into their life. I will say another thing i have discovered, people who give small glimpses are afraid of something, or hiding something...sometimes both and is an indicator to be sensitive!

For my normal day, I am not an affectionate person. I rarely hug people. I have just never been a hugger. If I do hug its usually because the other person initiated it or it's a crisis. It's not that i dont want to be affectionate because i totally do! It is just hard for me. Which is completely strange because my family is very affectionate and I grew up with lots and lots of love.

Slowly, over the past few weeks and being surrounded with laughs and voices of kids and with their affection is helping me be more huggy and touchy. My heart just melts when they are running to the classroom yelling " mrs. G! mrs. G!" and wrap their tiny arms around my waist and squeeze so tightly. Throughout the day, they want to do handshakes and hold your hand, and tell you about every detail of their night before and plans for the weekend. Its PRECIOUS! So for this part of my life, these 2nd grader's purpose is breaking down some major affection barriers, because they have none. What my purpose is for them? I don't know yet.

bummer...

so today is the frist day of school again. I woke up at 6:30 this morning and im still in summer sleep schedule, therefore i didnt fall asleep until 3. Its weird that my summer is over, although it was glorious, im dreaming of it getting cold outside and whipping out my sweaters and scarves. I cannot wait until fall and we get our first cold front! have you been outside? its hotter than a mother! i want to drink coffee because its cold outside and i need warm fluid to help keep me warm. It feels so wrong to drink a cup of coffee when its 90 degrees at the buttcrack of dawn.